Che-Kuang Chuang
I didn’t know why suddenly frustration came
into my mind and make me felt I am out of date in the year which I was 25 years
old. Maybe I wasn’t seemed uneasy in my performance through others’ eyes - I
got nice grade in the TOEFL test, and successfully got the
architecture-graduate school admission from NCKU, IoA and RMIT University, and
all of them are the top-gun in the world. I have never stopped to create new
works in this year. Almost every week I published different kind of works,
including sculptures, architectures and graphic design. Through these massive
productions, my professional skills have progressed very much. I have continued
to practice my English in order to handle different kind of situations in the
future; I even went to Goethe Institute Taipei to learn some German (after all
Austria is a German-speaking country). However, no matter how hard I tried or
how full my schedule was, I still felt emptiness.
I know that what I have done in the last year
was not in vain, all my hard works have gotten its reward- I have published my
second portfolio and it got enormous attentions on the ISSUU web(a famous website
for designers to publish their works), and my alma mater even invited me back
to give addresses to teach my fellow how to apply famous foreign graduate
schools. But I still felt uncomfortable. Did this anxiety cause by my single
status and lonely heart, or my narrow social interactions? I guessed all of
these are not the main factor to make me feel uneasy. After I sorted out my
heart and brain, I thought the main factor might be that I have no idea about
my future.
Maybe my friends would wonder and say: How
could it possible? The man such like you is bound to be a great architect!!
Don’t think too much!! Yeah, I used to be sure about that when I was in
college, but I am not sure anymore. I do know that creating is part of my life
and can’t be separated, and I also know that I will spend my entire life to
find the meaning of “ideal forms”, to create the most beautiful shape in the
world; but I still don’t know where I will be after I finish my master degree
in University of Applied Arts Vienna. Maybe I will find a job inn architecture
or interior design studios and earn 22k NTD a month? Or switching to other
fields such as graphic design, media design, game design or web design? I think
I have that ability to handle all of these, but I just can’t make up my mind.
There are so many choices before me, and so many invisible traps. I am afraid of
that once I choose a wrong way; I will ruin my entire life. I guess that
everyone want to find an existed life role-model; when people see there is a
successful role-model existed(no matter he/she is Steve Jobs or Zaha Hadid or
anyone else), they will feel comfortable and know that:” OK, I think this way
is safe. Through hard working, ten years after I will become a man/woman just
like him/her.” Is that true? Follow someone’s pace and live other’s life, then
everything would be OK? As a profession with foreign degree, I guess my
teachers in college might be good examples for me. Just like what they did, I
can find a job in some foreign companies after I finish my master degree and
make my resume looks much nicer. Then I can choose to stay in foreign country
or go back to Taiwan and establish my own company. In the same time I can find
a part-time job as a consultant to make some extra income. Sounds nice, right?
No, I don’t think that is the purpose of my life. Rather than live other’s
life, I want to find my own way. I need to find what the meaningful life style is
for me, and that is something I can’t avoid.
Therefore I know that I must do something to overcome my fear of future, my indecisive mind and to find my own way. Half years ago, I worried about my GPA score, my portfolio and my statement of purpose. Now I worried about my VISA application, my English ability and my life in Vienna. Finally I know all these trepidations would not end, because all of them are something I must bear in my life. However, I still can create a visionary plan to make me don’t feel panic when I face dilemmas and to make sure that I will keep moving forward. I want to set up a plan for my future; it is not that kind of successful dramas which could make me be successful in my career, but a flexible strategy, a game rules which could help me to check the progress of my goal, adjust my pace and follow my original intention.
- After I finish my master degree in IoA, I must find a job as a designer in Design Company, work for them at least for three years and accumulate more practical experience. No matter the company size is large or small, the salary is nice or poor, I am willing to stay if I can learn something there.
- In the future three years, I must spend more time to accompany my family in order to return what they did for me. In the same time maybe I should find a girlfriend for myself, after all I have been single for so long!!
- Keep creating in the future three years!! No matter how busy I am, how much time would it take or how slow the progress is, I must finish some works which is only belong to myself, even a piece of sketch or some study models would be OK. And remember to renew my portfolio and personal web regularly when I have some new works, it is a good way to make people know me.
- After these three years pass I will be twenty-nine years old. It is the time to adjust my plan, to check that if I am much closed to my life goal or if my professional skills have progressed. I hope in that time, I will still be the idealism who tries to achieve something different, to live for those noble sentiments and esteem morality rather than personal benefit. Maybe a long trip will help me to find my way of future. A half-year journey would be fine, even three- two months trips would be ok. I want to follow the paces of those crazy ones and see the true face of this world, just like what Che Guevara and Antoine Predock did- a journey to find the meaning of life. I just can’t avoid the step to find the true meaning of life (although I know many ones have already forget that), and I think after I finish that, I can move forward without hesitations and go to the next stage of my life journey.
Note01: this is the end of "just for practice" series, no more practice. Every writing would be formal play In the next time .
Note02: 這篇文章其實是我之前的網誌-"25歲，與未來"的譯文。我覺得十分適合用來作為我這一系列練習的收尾。總共二十篇連續一百四十天未間斷的練習(其實不多，就一週一篇)。之後就再也沒有練習了。一切都是實戰-恰如我25歲的人生，當我完成碩士後，一切就真的開始了(其實現在已慢慢開始了)。
Note03: 這篇英作文有些地方語意不清，有些地方我寫得比較口語、隨興-因為中文原稿本身就不太能講出有條理的論述，而僅是大致描寫當下的心境；其實有點朦朧文的味道。
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